Friday, July 23, 2010

One Massive Problem

We men been always been fascinated by the seemingly impossible to sever link between women and shopping that only a global recession could weaken. And now that the recession is slowly lifting we realise that we are, to be honest, helpless.

Today's men believe that they are expected to love their wives, work hard, put food on the table, provide shelter for the family and bring up the kids as best they can. Most women however believe that they were born to and hence, expected to shop till they almost drop. Just like Roger Federer was born to light up tennis courts and politicians are born to be corrupt. And if they dont buy anything they would like to go to malls. To decide on what to what to buy when they do shop.

How many times have men found their women (moms / sisters / cousins / girlfriends / wives) return from what was supposed to be a simple lipstick shopping trip with a car full of bags containing shoes, dresses, stoles, handbags, nail polish etc: ? Of course, women resort to one of the two proven and highly despicable shoe escape routes to explain how going to the mall to buy one lipstick ended up with a massive shopping bill.
Scenario 1 : "I saw that pair of shoes and I knew it would go perfectly with my green dress and so I had to buy it"
(Of course they dont explain why they bought the dress if they didnt have matching shoes in the first place ....)
Scenario 2 : "I saw those shoes and I thought they would go perfectly with a green dress"
" But you dont have a green dress "
" Errr which is why I also bought a green dress and then I saw this lovely top which goes so well with my red shoes and so I had to buy it as well ..."

Men being men have not sat back and let women call the shots. They have tried several different techniques (obviously without much success) in an effort to break this evil nexus between women and shopping. Nowadays if news of a company wide pay hike is imminent, men try to keep women away from newspapers, tv channels and colleagues only because women think that a pay hike means more money to spend. Some men have tried accompanying their women on shopping trips hoping that they will be able to curtail the inevitable expenditure. Unfortunately women see this as 2 extra hands to hold shopping bags which means more shopping. Some men have been trying for years to explain the concept of a shopping budget. Apparently its like throwing a glass of water into the sea. Some rather unwise men have tried confiscating their wives credit cards. Apparently the consequences were so severe that they meekly returned the cards within a few days. But help is at hand (contd...)

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