1. No more ducking and hiding behind pillars to avoid someone you’ve just spotted and intentionally not met for months
You can actually walk past people you haven’t met in ages knowing that they will not recognize you come what may. Its worked for me in the past. Of course the flip side is that if you do want to meet that person they wont really belive that its you unless you have someone backing you up.
2. Keeps potential in-laws away
If you’re in your mid twenties and all your relatives are busy convincing your parents that it’s high time you get married (for your own good of course) the smartest form of non cooperation is growing a beard. No self respecting father will want to give his daughter’s hand in marriage to some hooligan, however impressive his details are. And they would be thinking think, at this stage if he looks like this imagine what he would be like 10 years from now? All while you smile and behave at your gentlemanly best.
3. Provides for midnight snacks
Ever felt hungry in the middle of the night while you’re busy watching a movie or curled up reading a book? No more getting up and heading to the kitchen to grab a packet of biscuits. All you need to do is rummage through your beard and you will invariably find some left over crumbs / pieces of biscuits from earlier in the day. Seriously.
4. Turns you into an instant magician
No more plucking a coin from out of thin air or making a card appear at the top of the pack. Smuggle a bird inside your beard & watch as kids believe that you magically made a bird disappear. Enough to make you earn the Favourite Uncle In The Whole Wide World tag.