Secret Agent Johnny

Real Name : Unknown
Nickname : Johnny aka Chung Wung Lee
Origins : Unknown
Description : Medium complexioned with medium height & build

Location : HSR Layout, Bangalore
Mission : To chase down any bike / car that is passing by our lane by charging at them at full speed while barking aggressively to frighten them off the lane as soon as possible
Mission Success Rate : Rather high

Johnny / Chung Wung Lee is our adopted mongrel who stays outside our place and who lives off the food that the neighbours (& we) provide him every night. Why the oriental name ? That’s cause he used to be fed Chinese fried rice all the time by my roomie who used to get a separate dish parceled just for the dog. Honestly. Actually Johnny kinda adopted us considering that he was there much before we started renting out our place.

Johnny is one of Bangalore’s numerous strays who have all apparently signed some secret pact to help protect the houses in their neighbourhood by chasing off any suspicious looking people on bikes or cars. The only problem is that someone somewhere forgot to reinforce the ‘suspicious’ bit. Which leads to these dogs running after anyone on a bike or car (who doesn’t stay in that neighbourhood mind you) while barking madly. Ive seen numerous incidents of guys on bikes almost running their bikes into trees in fright as Johnny has chased them down our lane. Ive even witnessed people in cars swerving in panic as our hero set off on yet another chase. Unfortunately these dogs think that their ‘job’ is a disguised kamikaze mission & are always on the lookout to sacrifice themselves for their food providers. Which is why, if youre riding through Bangalore’s residential areas, you might suddenly find yourself braking in panic as one or more of these crazy mutts decide that you were destined to send them to your maker.

Corollary: And by extension that they were destined to send you to your maker.

Fortunately these dogs aren’t really the blood thirsty maniacs that I might be making them out to be. Fall the hundreds of times he has terrorized motorists, he still gets really puzzled when a regular visitor to our flat leaves on his electric motorbike which doesn’t make a sound. It is hilarious watching him all confused as he knows he should be chasing the bike but he stops after a couple of steps cause he doesn’t hear a sound. Im sure this scene plays itself out on every street when a person on an electric bike passes through. For all you know they could be against motorized transport. They seem to have no issues with people who walk by them. Maybe these crazy dogs just need to rethink their mission statement.