When working out doesn't work out

It just wouldnt go away. I tried looking at in from different angles but it was of no use. Seeing as I wasn't under the influence I was pretty sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I tried taking a deep breath which worked but seeing as I could only hold it for less than a minute the plan wasnt of much use. My belt certainly wasnt deceiving me. I well and truly was another victim of the dreaded IT Belly.

IT Belly - eye•tee bell•e

The mass of abdominal fat resulting in an increase in waist size caused by excessive working in front of a laptop and the lack of any exercise except for walking to the cafeteria and / or the pantry. Specific to people who work in the information technology industry. No known cure found for long term patients. As common as the cold.

They say once you fall prey to it, you can never escape its clutches. I was determined not to let myself be a victim of this dastardly dreaded disease. I would not let the fact that I did not have time to hit the gym everyday be a problem. Like everything else in the world, there always is a work around if youre keen enough.

First things first. I had to get rid of the songs on my phone and replace it with 'inspiring' music. So out went Mr Sinatra and in came the OST of Rocky. Yes , the greatness of the music of all the Rocky movies contained in one album. Second, a recurring alarm was set for 07:00. Weekends included. This would ensure I got at least an hour of jogging every day.

Third, it was time to watch my diet. Which meant that my regular lunches were out and it was time to join the line at the salad counter. And no, I cant believe it either. And so from my daily sumptuous lunches of chicken biriyani and ice cream, I feel to the deep depths of eating leaves and fruits from a bowl so small that I would've felt guilty about starving a 2 year old baby had I fed it from that. And to make things worse, the miniscule portions of 'healthy' food cost more than my regular lunch that consisted of biriyani and ice cream. Combined. Ouch! Yes, I was paying more for less. Go figure!

Step number 4, more exercise at office. No more elevators for me. It was time to hit the stairs twice a day. Initially I took the easy way out and used the stairs for walking down but I realised that it would not help me trim my waist so I took the bottom up approach. Step 5, sign up at the gym where I was sure I would be making guest appearances but at least I would feel guilty about having spent so much on it (typical Indian mentality) and force myself to go.

Now all this continued for a month and I could honestly felt the difference. The weighing scale definitely wasnt wrong as it showed that I had lost close to 5 kgs with all the effort I put in. I didn't have to think about updating my wardrobe with new pants either. I could also relish the occasional dessert knowing that I could burn it all off over the next couple of days. Happiness was my new found companion.

Until the day I spotted my friends who hadnt seen me in quite a while. All of them said that I had put on some weight since they last saw me. Which was technically, physically, clinically and medically impossible. So I put it down to the tee I was wearing which probably wasnt too complimentary given the lighting conditions and the time of the day. A few days later I bumped into another friend of mine who also insisted I had put on weight.

Now Im pretty sure there is no global conspiracy to make me think Im fat and when I think about it, I have been missing my regular lunches. How many green leaves can a guy eat for lunch anyways? So I've thrown in the towel and recalled Mr Sinatra. And added Dean Martin as well. I've also got a partial refund on the gym membership. Which I will use to buy myself new pants when I do eventually put on. All because the comments that I have put on just dont go away .....