Thursday, October 14, 2010

Have you joined CRAP ?

Gentlemen & ladies, I request your assistance, time and well wishes for the next few months as I set off on my endeavour to bring equality to the sexes in India's workplace. I have decided to setup the Committee for Removal of Apparent Partiality (CRAP) which will ensure that men have equal rights as women in offices all across our glorious nation.

For the last few centuries Women have been considered the oppressed sex as men have garnered the glory and honour associated with the most important events in history. Men have gone on to become leaders of nations, sporting icons, deal makers and breakers and all along women kept a low profile knowing that their time would eventually come. And so they plotted and planned and waited for men to fall from their high horses so they could grab the reins of history writing from the unworthy hands of men. And trust me, this modern capitalist era is their time.

I have to give it to women, they prefer to wield the scalpel as compared to us men who prefer using a sledgehammer for any and everything. Their rise to power has been done ever so subtly and most unsuspecting men think that they are still in charge. If you don’t believe me, consider this - women have ensured that they don’t slog late into the nights citing kids, cooking and feeding the dog (?). In certain companies, women have to leave office by late evenings while men keep working not just to complete their work but also the work that women haven’t completed since they left early.

The other reason cited for women leaving early from offices is it is unsafe for them to travel in the nights. Well if the thieves don’t get their hands on women then it is natural to assume that they will end up taking money out of the pockets of men who are working late and returning home.

In Kerala, one third of the seats in the front section of public buses are reserved for women. A couple of years ago, there was a major accident involving one such bus and a number of women died as the front of the bus bore the brunt of the collision. The government then decided to shift the reserved seats for women to the back of the bus. A few weeks later there was another accident with the back of the bus getting rammed in this time resulting in more women dying. Hence they shifted the reserved seats to the front again. Almost makes me feel that men’s lives don’t matter.

Ok, so you’re not a conspiracy theorist. Fine look around and spot the smaller signs. I’ve tried getting an extra papadam for lunch at the office cafeteria for months but all I get in return is a dirty look. The other day a woman standing in front of me asks for an extra papadam while flashing a winning smile and gets two extra! 30 seconds later I try flashing the same smile and ask the guy behind the counter if I can have an extra papadam and I get the same dirty look that I’ve been getting all these days. I’ve got loads of examples but I think you get the picture.

And so here I sit, typing out this blog entry as I urge you, my brothers and sisters to take up this noble cause and fight for what is right and help bring men to a level playing field. Let us not ask for concessions, reservations or freebies. Let us not ask for special treatment. Let us educate and empower. All we will ask for is to be on an equal footing with women.

So that men and women will together lead the way to a bright and glorious future where gender does not play a role in your success. So that the next generation is not dominated by one particular sex and men and women can work hand in hand to shape our destiny. So that we no longer need to be members of CRAP and we can go our separate ways knowing that we have been a part of history. So that one day men would be able to go home and play with their kids in the evening (on a weekday) and not have to worry about being mugged, stabbed and looted on the way back. And so that one day I can get the &*#@$&%^*% extra papadam !

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

CRAP is crap!!