Sunday, December 26, 2010

The low point of low waist jeans

They say fashion is constantly evolving, that what’s 'in' this season is a far cry from what was 'in' a few months back and that you need to keep changing with the times. I, for one, am not the most fashionable person around, primarily due to the fact that my fashion sense hovers perilously close to zero. What I do know is that low waist jeans have been 'in' in India for the last decade & a couple of recent incidents have made me pen down (misnomer really considering that I’m typing it out) a few thoughts on this perpetually 'cool' style statement.

Before I get to that, permit me a few minutes of nostalgia. Around 10 years ago when I first decided to try out low waist jeans it wasn’t because of an enhanced sense of dressing. It turned out that I was rather scrawny for my age & getting a pair of jeans to fit me was about as easy as topping my class in the annual exams. So I was left with jeans that would dangle somewhere below my waist line (held up by a belt) at the mythical NELWJP (Non Embarrassment Low Waist Jeans Point). Which is the exact point at which the jeans are low enough to pass off as low while not being in danger of falling off with the next gust of wind but succeeding in scandalizing your extended family by its lack of proximity to your waist line. Of course I never stepped out without a belt, wasn’t daring enough but I do know of a lot of people who did. Gutsy buggers. Nowadays they aren’t the rage anymore but it isn’t surprising to spot someone sporting the low waist look and carrying it off well.

What is surprising though is the fact that people still think that it is acceptable to walk around in low waist jeans that display more than a hint of their undergarments. We were at a movie hall recently when we spotted guys from a large group sitting in front of us moving out to grab some popcorn. All of them were flaunting their boxers (most in checks, i think one of them had Mickey Mouse if my brief (pardon the pun) glance serves my memory correctly). And the best part is that none of them bothered to make any attempt to pull up their pants which led to much grief and shock for the rest of the audience.

In fact, I was thinking I should approach these right wing extremists in our country (we do seem to have plenty of them) & use their money and / or muscle power to launch my automatic low waist jeans lifting contraption which is rather self explanatory. All you have to do is walk up behind a person who is unsuitably attired in low waist jeans and clip the device onto his jeans without him knowing it. Then from a safe distance using the remote control, select the intensity of the upward pull and watch as it pulls his pants up using the combined effort of its tiny twin motors. Please do remember that the motors are pretty strong so please do think twice before putting it on the highest intensity. Lets just say the consequences could be long lasting. In fact I could and should patent this device. I’m sure parents would lap it up. This could be my goose that lays golden eggs. Swiss banks, here I come!

Of course, defenders of all things fashionable will say you cant impinge on someone’s fundamental right to dress up the way he / she wants. Which I agree with as long as they don’t display their boxers to the entire world each time they decide to cross the room. They might say ..... you know what, forget it. It doesn’t really matter what they say.