Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Tonight Show with Ja errr Conan

"Noway is this happening" was my first thought when I read that Jay Leno was hanging up his boots & getting replaced by Conan O'Brian. Ive spent several nights cracking up in front of the TV watching Leno at his best in various segments that include jaywalking, the newspaper segment & of course, his rolling- on- the- floor funny stand up comedy. The good news is Leno is returning soon with his new show - the Jay Leno Show. Which means more of the more salt than pepper hair & that pointed jaw & of course rib tickling comedy. Not that Conan isnt hilarious but Conan isnt Leno. As a tribute to the champ, here are some of his best jokes on US presidents.Warning, he really gets into his stride when it comes to Clinton.

"I tell you, the economy is in bad shape. In fact, the economy is so bad, President Barack Obama's new slogan is 'Spare Change You Can Believe In.'"

"Tomorrow, America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for, 'former President George Bush,' President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you."

"Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch -- the environment hurting Bush."

"President Bush says America has caused an incredible transformation in Afghanistan. He said everything's being rebuilt, people are getting jobs, kids are going back to school. He said it works so well that he's thinking of trying it in New Orleans.

P.S - Dont say I didnt warn you .....

"The $10 million Clinton is getting for his book beats the old record of $8.5 million paid to the Pope. How do you think this makes the Pope feel? The man dedicates his life to the 10 Commandments, he gets 8.5. Clinton breaks every one of them, he gets 10."

"Former President Clinton was hit by an egg thrown by a protester as he was walking down the street in Poland. His reflexes were so quick, he was able to fertilize it like that."

"Yesterday was Earth Day, and President Bush planted some seeds. See, that's the difference between Bush and Clinton. Clinton was a much bigger environmentalist. He didn't just plant his seeds one day, he planted them every day."

"This kind of seems like bad taste to me. A Giuliani fundraiser is now charging $9.11 ... in reference to 9/11. ... Isn't that inappropriate? I mean, isn't it like a Bill Clinton fundraiser charging $69 a head?"

"Yesterday President Bush was at Mt. Rushmore. Don't confuse this with former President Clinton who was just in a rush to mount more."

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