Mirror mirror on the wall .....

.... who is the greatest music artist of them all ? Really tough question that, considering the fact that sales figures from around the world arent all that accurate. Apparently there isnt complete data from before the 50's and a lot of sales figures from after that are dubious. The top selling artists of all time are (in alphabetical order)
1. Bing Crosby
2. Elvis Presley
3. Frank Sinatra
4. Michael Jackson
5. The Beatles
Of these I would venture to guesstimate that one of Elvis, MJ and the Beatles would be the actual top seller.

Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, the man who moonwalked his way into peoples hearts and album shelves, is of course the freshest on peoples minds. MJ though is a picture perfect case of being on top of the world and falling to unheard of before depths. From being the man who could bring cities to a standstill when his concerts were being held there, MJ has become the sleazy guy against whom child molestation cases were filed by the dozen. Martin Bashir's controversial documentary Living with Michael Jackson was, of course, instrumental in his downfall. The shift in his skin colour from being dark to a ridiculous pale white along with his obvious numerous operations on his face havent really helped. The standard of his music has also fallen in recent years but there is no taking away from his incredible songs such as Billy Jean, Beat It, Bad, Way You Make Me Feel, Dangerous, Smooth Criminal (my fav) to name a few. The King of Pop yes, but the greatest? Far from it.

To be honest I am a huge fan of the Beatles. My Granddad had a CD of theirs which I loved listening to over and over and over again. The quartet of Ringo Starr, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and John Lennon from Liverpool certainly can claim to be the most successful band of all time. Their influence of culture is well known and they were awarded the Members of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) by Queen Elizabeth II, much to the consternation of some who had been similarly conferred. The Beatles are famous here in India for having spent time at Rishikesh for studying transedental meditation. They eventually split in 1970 but not before making floppy hair ultra cool around the world (even inspiring a couple of Bollywood songs) and giving us songs that will live forever - From Me To You, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Love Me Do, She Loves You, Yesterday, Hard Day's Night, Can't Buy Me Love, Hey Jude, Ticket To Ride, Yellow Submarine etc: (phew!)

Elvis Presley wasnt called the King of Rock n Roll for nothing. Elvis was a cultural icon, a man who changed the landscape of music forever. His naturally good lookshis trademark puff, sideburns and leg swaying/ gyrating combined with his unique music style to drive girls & in turn America crazy. With a unique sound - a combination of blues (with traces of gospel influences) and country music, Elvis was a phenomenal hit and eventually acted in a number of movies. In layman's terms, he was a white man singing a black man's music. His energy needs to be seen to be believed and to be honest I havent seen an artist in years who has half the screen presence and charisma of Elvis. His last few performances were admittedly painful as he was a pale shadow of his former self and health problems and addictions were responsible for his death at an early age of 42. Interestingly, during the Beatles years ('63 - '70) only 6 of Elvis's singles reached the top 10.

MJ has been quoted as the greatest artist since Elvis. John Lennon has admitted that "If there hadnt been an Elvis, there wouldnt have been the Beatles". Time then to pay tribute to the greatest of them all - The King.

Liberalization or my new concept ?????

Liberalization, as defined by wikipedia, refers to a relaxation of previous government restrictions, usually in areas of social or economic policy. Indians know how life has changed since we opened up our markets in the early 90s. From being a country that had the good old Hindusthan Ambassador, the lovely Premier Padmini & the loveable Maruthi 800 as the choice of transport on 4 wheels we have moved to a deluge of cars from the finest of car makers with prices ranging from 2.5 lacs to above 4 crores. Buying a packet of biscuits is no longer easy as there seem to be a 101 options in the shelves with the end result that I walk away from a shop after having picked more biscuits than I need. I think you get the drift. But nothing beats trying to buy mobile phones these days.
I remember the time when mobile phones came out in the 90’s. That was when pagers were the rage and just about everyone had one clipped to his waist. The advent of mobile telephony in India ushered in a revolution of brick sized boxes masquerading as communications devices and spelt the doom of pagers. Of course call rates were so sky high that often incoming calls were so much more expensive than outgoing calls. To be fair to the phones they weren’t all that bad, some of them had the snake game that kinda provided entertainment. Its just that they followed the SUV policy of bigger is better …..

With increasing competition among service providers, we now have call rates as cheap as 10 paise a minute or if youre lucky, calls to other customers on the same network might be free. From being a luxury, phones have become a necessity with just about everybody having one or more. When I had to pick up a new phone in the summer of 2007 I did a bit of research and to be honest was surprised at the number of phones available on the market. I ended up picking the k750i after a lot of spadework and I havent regretted the purchase once.
Just last week I picked up the latest issue of a mag focussed on mobile phones. I flipped to the back and was looking through the phones currently available and my jaw dropped when I realised there are 266 different phones for sale right now (Feb ‘08). How in the world do you decide on which phone best suits your requirement if you land up in a shop with cash in your hand and not too much idea about what you want? Which leads me to conclude that a majority of people will end up picking a phone that doesn’t exactly meet their requirements and as a result they will be unhappy with their choice. Imagine a generation of frustrated mobile users who wont change their phones even if they don’t want/need their current phone cause they suspect (rather rightly I venture to guess) that they will end up picking a wrong phone again. Who suffers in the end - mobile manufacturers.
Whoever talks about all this in economics textbooks while they extol the virtues of liberalization? Maybe its time for the world to embrace my idea of ‘liberafrustration’.

Who says smoking is injurious to health ?

A different view of TAPMI

( Mc ) Ca (i) n Obama do it ?

Like the rest of the world which has had just about enough of George W Bush and his tyrannical ways, I too have been avidly following the elections in the US this year. I've been following various websites and newspapers for the latest on the elections and what are the latest predictions and whatnot. Given the front runners this time - Barack Obama & Hilary Clinton for the democrats and John McCain for the Republicans, my vote (worthless as it is seeing as i'm sitting half way around the world from America & that im not an American citizen) would go to Obama. And it isnt about him being a great orator or having well written speeches or a meticulously planned campaign. His campaign promise of change is bang on target. Thats what americans want. Thats what the world wants in its politics. And with news of his recent consecutive wins, the Obama wave seems to be closer to striding into the White House (see pic) with more and more vigour. And I for my part was extremely happy about it.

Until I read the newsweek article today that talked about the Obama delusion. The article thankfully dug beyond the Obama's clean campaign for change versus the slowly disintegrating Clinton campaign. According to the author Robert J Samuelson "He has run on the vague promise of "change," but on issue after issue—immigration, the economy, global warming—he has offered boilerplate policies that evade the underlying causes of the stalemates. These issues remain contentious because they involve real conflicts or differences of opinion." Eye opening stuff indeed. To be honest this is the first criticial article that I've read on Obama but it does leave a bitter taste in what was otherwise a very sweet (for America) proposition for a president.

So what are we left with? Mrs Clinton who has Mr Clinton do the dirty work of sniping at Obama. John McCain who believes that America's continued presence in Iraq is the way forward. And Obama, the one hope that the world had for a new leader championing the cause of goodness who it turns out isnt all what he promised to be .... Of course it is entirely possible (and i hope so) that Obama is what the world needs and America will vote him into power and he will fulfill his promises to the nation and make them proud. But if he doesnt turn out to be the harbinger of change like he promises to be, strangely I wont be too disappointed. Another politician we will all say with an indifferent dismissal. And that worries me.

AC's favourite quote " We pulled off Casablanca x3" ....

To be honest we had a terrible time deciding what play we were going to do for Dionysia (our annual inter sectional drama competition). Given our not-so-Midas-but-so-full-of-fun touch, we decided to do something different from our rather memorable Ace of Diamonds mindset. Unblessed with cousins, buddies, sidekicks or ex-girlfriends in any of India's drama companies, the internet became our source for plays. The harder we searched the less likely it looked like we were going to decide on anything. And then AC (in a rare fit of genius) exclaimed "Why dont we do Casablanca?"

Shoot to Sunday a week later and I'm going crazy running backstage taking care of the small things in my role as the (Co) director, sound boy, props arranger, prompter etc etc ....... And its only when I hear "Louie, this looks to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship" am i able to finally relax and stop and take a deep breath. Add to it the post Dionysia drama of the judge wrongly announcing the scores, thereby putting us in last position only to later invite the Directors of the team that performed Casablanca on stage to collect the runners up trophy. And there we stood on stage, team Antherdwandh (I still dont know how to spell it....) trophy in hand, grinning like school kids in an All You Can Play PS3 Gaming Convention.

Of course I would like to tell the world that its not about winning or losing but the the fun involved in getting terribly unpunctual lead actors at the same place at the same time and throwing mock tantrums to get them to get serious and all that. But I will reluctantly admit the not so good looking runners up trophy brings a smile to my face, unfailingly. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, we ended up celebrating at ......

From mystery to misery ...

I like first times. The first time you read a book by a particular author and fall for his style of writing. The first time you visit a library. The first time you refuse to listen to your body crying out for you to sleep cause the book in your hands is so unputdownable.
Theres nothing like reading an engrossing book flipping through page after page while being mesmerized by the world carefully laid out for you by the author. Add to it the pleasure involved in looking through shelves of books in a library while making a mental note to self to read the following n books. Time has taken its toll and from being a lover of Enid Blyton , 3 investigators, Hardy Boys, William etc I moved to Archer, Forsyth, Wilbur Smith, Robin Cook etc: as I grew older. I even became a fan of Michael Moore on the way. Over the past few months I’ve found myself reading books varying from the Ramayana to a book on the rise of Islam to a book on how Boston Public Schools destroyed the hearts and minds of black children in the late 60’s. But the book I’m reading now has done what no book has ever done before. It actually makes me close my eyes and cringe in pain.
Gujarat – The Making of a Tragedy is a book that every Indian should read. Currently at the end of my B school education, I’ve heard enough and more stories on how India is shining and poised to take on the world along with China and whatnot. But this book serves as a slap on the face for all of us who have forgotten the carnage of the attacks that took place in Gujarat against Muslims with the full support of Narendra Modi’s state government. The enormity of the scale of the atrocities and their nature is a brutal reminder that below the shining façade of India is another darker side of our people that we ought to be ashamed of.
The following passages are taken from the book. “Nasir Khan Rahim Khan Pathan, principal of Sunflower School which catered to both Hindu and Muslim children, saw the attackers pour petrol into the mouth of six year old Imran. ‘A lit matchstick was then thrown into his mouth and he just blasted apart.’ ”
14-year old Javed Hussain says “… we heard a mob outside. They said they would destroy all Muslims. We tried to run but they had surrounded us. They set fire to houses and started throwing people into the flames. I was standing with my pregnant cousin Kausarbibi, who was to deliver in another two days. They dragged her away, ripped open her stomach with a knife and threw the foetus into the fire. Then they threw my family into the fire, one by one: my father, mother and my 17 year old sister Sophiya. My aunts family was also burnt alive”.
For the first time I actually don’t know if I have the strength to finish reading the book.

The one word that describes me best - Seeker

A poster i made that captures the essence of me

Seek and you shall find

Wrestling from before when I got addicted to it. Conspiracy theories on 9/11. Lousy reviews of video games I wish I could get my hands on. Tony Hawk performing his first ever 900. Someone pulling off a stoppie and then immediately lifting his front wheel in the air that made for an amazing sight. The latest news. Songs that were ‘thoughtfully’ unaired from the Bollywood movie that I unfortunately paid money to see cause I didn’t have too many better things to do. Street magic. Accidents that I wish I had never seen. Puppies. Drunk people talking crap. A lousy fashion show from some engineering college. One of the most amazing pieces of guitar work I’ve ever seen. Jeremy Clarkson’s face almost getting pulled off due to the awe inspiring power of the Ariel Atom.
What’s the thread that links them together? The best thing on the web after email – You tube. It really is amazing how you can always find a video to anything that you search for. Especially useful if it’s nearing 4 AM and you’re tossing and turning and cant find sleep no matter how many sheep, cows, goats, pigs, cats or ducks you’ve thrown over the fence.
In case you’re wondering what’s with the amazing guitar work that I mentioned. Search for “Coupdegrace Revisited” on Youtube. Stunned could barely begin to describe my reaction. Definite must watch.
I’m hooked on Youtube. Are you too?

A for apple, B for ball, C for cat and D for Delhi ....

With many a month having passed by (with me being blissfully unaware of the fact as usual) I have come to the rather late realization that my stay in the Capital wound up much sooner than I would have liked. Everyone’s attempt at trying to instill some amount of trepidation into my eternally worryless mind with the whole South Indian guy heading to the north of the country routine had failed miserably before I landed here and it still hasn’t had any effect. So what am I missing or waving a fond farewell to now that I have left that lovely place?

- The absolutely divine wide roads that I never got to sample in my stay here will definitely be much missed. Each time my mind wanders to those heavenly pot hole-less well lit roads and the sparse traffic on it in the nights I wonder what life would have been like had I brought my bike along with me. Big mistake it was not taking it to Delhi to say the least. Would’ve had a million dollar grin that refused to go away after each nightly sojourn. The mind can but imagine at this point of time.
- The machinery on those roads was absolutely soul stirring for my car craving self. Delhiites have wealth and love to flaunt it and I love them for that. Especially when they splurge on a sweet set of wheels. Evident by the number of BMW’s, Audi’s & Mercs (more common than a cold in India’s monsoon) as well as the Cayenne’s and the blue Boxster I saw. Porsche’s look amazing in pics and on Top Gear but seeing one in the flesh actually made me stop in my tracks. However my 2 wheeled paradise was limited to a solo Hayabusa and I wish I’de seen more. Especially since I’de heard so much about G.O.D.S – the Group Of Delhi Superbikers, bunch of guys who own some insane machinery.
- 1 thing I won’t miss is the lousy taste these Delhiites have in helmets. Thank heavens it is compulsory for all guys on 2 wheels to wear a helmet though the ladies get an unnecessary exception from the rule. And still all I see is dull boring plainer- than- a- vanilla- ice- cream- that’s- run- out- of- vanilla coloured helmets with very few of them going so far as to sport a couple of stickers on them. Far cry from my ummm eye catching GP One helmet I compulsorily wear every time I’m out on a spin.
- The whole sense of power that Delhi is famous for gives rise to a sense of arrogance that I can live without. Evident throughout the city and certainly not something that an outsider is used to. In all my time (not that I’ve spent a considerable amount of time on this earth but still…) I’ve never encountered this corridor of power that gives a inimitable flavour to the place. Everybody knows somebody in power and behaves like a prick because of it.
- My daily trip past the India Gate. There’s something about it, indefinable really but irrespective of the number of times I passed by it looking at it was wonderful.
- The oppressive heat I bid a fond farewell to. I was fortunate that it rained on a handful of days which made them really pleasant and those sunless dark cloud covered skies brought back fond memories of monsoons at home. But when the sun decide to shine in all his glory Delhi was a pain. Fortunately my project didn’t involve too much traveling around Delhi so the confines of my office were where I was glad to be. But heading out to a nearby eatery to sample Delhi’s sweets was worth being out in the stifling heat.
- One word to describe sweets and food in Delhi – Yum! Fell in love with the food there. Hook line and sinker. Food, desserts, ice creams, pastries, short eats – in short everything. And for someone who loves food like me the place is perfect.
- The crowd for mixed reasons. Ive seen both extremes there. The loud boisterous unruly (if that is the right word) crowd on one hand that I used to see everyday while traveling up and down the city. The elegant sophisticated people who hold important posts in Delhi. The ones who know how to throw a party that you will remember for a while. Where classiness takes a precedence over flashiness.
- Weekends in Delhi will definitely be missed. We used to try to get tickets to movies and we never did succeed until the end when we finally got tickets for Cheeni Kum. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Missed out on every summer blockbuster this year. For the first time ever.
Theres scores of other stuff but my fingers are aching. Farewell Delhi until we meet again ….

Life truly is a B**ch

I for one should be the last person to say that B-school life is strenuous and the cause of grey hair causing stress (hair loss causing stress even?). To be fair even someone like me has been able to manage the assignments, quizzes (both surprise as well as well in advance informed types), mid themes, end themes, presentations and everything else that has been thrown at us and managed to stand tall at the end of it fairly unscathed. But there are times when everything just kind of builds and grows to the extent where you yearn for a break, an escape from the claustrophobic walls that have surrounded you while you were apparently looking elsewhere, a simple getaway from the madness called life.

For some solace lies in music. An evening to yourself spent drowning in your favourite artiste offers a simple pleasure that is really difficult to describe. Lying down with the electricity meter having to tick away only due to a fan and contemplating life with nobody for company is often the perfect prescription that unfortunately no doctor can prescribe. Under the assumption that one has the appropriate music for accompaniment that is.

For others a simple stroll will do the same if not more. I don’t really know if it’s about being able to connect with nature or if it’s the spent calories that give you a subconscious sense of relief or if it’s just that the walk lets you be on your own giving you the opportunity to be the observer and thereby watch everyone else caught up in their own little worlds.

While the above 2 have been successful to varying degrees (the fact that I’ve not really had to unwind has therefore not put the above to the proper test, what can I say life’s been good to me) I feel that nothing compares to the simple pleasure of sprawling on a beach on a cloudy day. How does one begin to explain the true extent of the soothing effect that the sound of waves unrelentingly lapping the shore has on a weary soul? Of course the right company has been so far an untyped essential of this. Having them run around chasing a football successfully attempting stunts that will never ever be executed on the football field and smiling to yourself knowing this secret is safe with you is absolutely priceless. Being smart would mean waiting till they have sufficiently exhausted themselves and then getting up off your lazy arse and running circles around them executing some neat flicks, fakes and classic one touch football that would have made any Arsenal player proud. Or at least attempting to do so ….. And when everyone’s too tired to play David Beckham any more they will eventually sit down, sip beer, talk about irrelevant stuff, pull each other’s leg while you grab a cap, make sure the sun isn’t hitting your face and go back to sprawling with a grin and the knowledge that life’s a bitch. Except on the beach.

Tumour in your humour

It was in Robbie Williams’ much listened to song Supreme that he sang a line (that could’ve & should’ve been just another line in just another popular song) that has caused me to contemplate rather unnecessarily for prolonged periods of time on what humour is. Maybe Robbie never intended for just 1 line from the whole song to be food for thought for someone who is jobless in some classes and doesn’t want to waste his time day dreaming about people, places and/or things limited only by his boundaryless imagination. Or maybe he did. One can’t say. But debating on that is entirely pointless. More importantly, the line in question…..

“Yeah are you questioning your size?
Is there a tumour in your humour,
Are there bags under your eyes? “

If for some weird reason you still haven’t figured out which of the 3 lines is the reason for me to ditch my favoured state of brain deadness to ponder on humour, it’s the italicized one. So how exactly does one define funny? Do funny jokes have to be clean jokes? Why do a lot of guys like jokes that are slightly dirty? Do girls like jokes that are borderline dirty? (Am in the dark on that one) Why do people always laugh at whatever joke a particular person cracks even if they are funny or not? Why do poor jokes have to be called pj’s? Why cant we call them something else? Why do some people have a terrible sense of humour? (what I like to call - tumour in your humour) There are 100s of unanswered humour related questions that I have.


I’ve only got 7 more months left in my course to complete free thinking about such things without a worry in the world. And I don’t suppose that I will get an answer to any of them but I am keeping an open mind to possible revelations. Probably wont run down the street naked and all shouting Eureka Eureka but the thought of it is ….. Anyways until then I probably will keep coming up with crackers (as I like to look at them with my humour tinted & tainted eyes) (crackers being an ambiguous term) like the ones below. Enjoy !


What the annoyed pet shop owner shouted at the intelligent bird that kept imitating his style of talking and whatever he said ……. “ Stop parrot-phrasing me !”

What one sea animal told his star fish friend as he went to find the loo? ……. I need to crab

What happens if you piss off your FAS (probably Faculty Associated for Student, basically a faculty mentor in my institute) ? ….. It becomes a case of the FAS and the furious

What one sandwich told the other sanwich after cracking a really really terrible joke ? ........ No bun intended

Its fake !

“You still watch wrestling??????” accompanied by incredulous looks followed by laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation is something that I’ve encountered heaven knows how many times over the years. And of course the standard follow up that’s something of a Robin to the Batman that is You sill watch wrestling – You know its fake, don’t you?

My friends and family will vouch for the fact that my memory is one of the lousiest ones around. But I do very distinctly remember watching all amazed as Star TV came into my life sometime in late 1992. The first channel I watched was BBC and a short while later I stumbled onto wrestling. It was a show that was immediately after Summerslam 1992 if I am not mistaken with the host talking about the match between Bret “The Hitman” Hart & his real life brother-in-law “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith. And I was hooked.

Over the years I’ve watched wrestling and in particular the WWF (now WWE) grow as an industry, watched the metamorphosis from a family oriented style in the late 80’s and early 90’s to a more edgy product aimed at a younger audience. During the boom years of wrestling in India almost every school going kid had a collection of wrestling stickers, wrestling postcards (which couldn’t be mailed anywhere anyways) and wrestling trump cards. Oh the endless hours spent playing trump cards …… Nowadays I cant even find a quarter of my collection of stuff that I had during that time. School kids even went to the extent of picking a wrestler that most suited his personality as his own character. Local TV channels would invariably show old wrestling tapes from the late 80’s that were great to watch.

I guess that’s what attracted me to it in the first place – the characters. Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Chris Jericho & Ric Flair are my favourite wrestlers not just in terms of their in ring prowess and ability but in the very characters they portray week in and week out. Bret Hart built his career as a typical good guy but his evolution into a bad guy due to the frustration he was feeling during his feud with the then upcoming Stone Cold Steve Austin is one of the most brilliant & believable pieces of scriptwriting that the WWF has done. Chris Jericho in his WCW days was so cocky but fans knew he could more than back it up with his in ring skills and was thus very popular. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, in my view the greatest wrestler I have ever seen in the squared circle (he is still actively wrestling full matches at an age of 58), can entertain like none other. The 16 time World Champion is legendary as the ‘Dirtiest player in the game’ and his trademark moves have enthralled fans over the years.

Storylines are a major driving force between why wrestling is still close to my heart. The formula is simple enough – Good guy vs Bad Guy. Crowd cheers good guy and dislikes bad guy. But the evolution of wrestling fans over the years has meant that there is no more black and white in terms of characters. Steve Austin is one example that springs to mind, despite being the bad guy fans took to his anti establishment attitude. John Cena at the other end who is being pushed by the WWE as the next Hulk Hogan just could not win over the fans cause a very large number of them viewed him as being not deserving enough to hold the title. Just goes to show you cant take your customers for granted. But I digress. Stories like the Austin Hitman feud mentioned earlier, the long simmering feud between The Hitman & “The Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michaels, the feud between “The Macho Man” Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan where Macho Man felt that Hulk Hogan was showing too much attention to Miss Elizabeth, Randy Savage’s wife are but a few examples.

And wrestling is all about the moments that capture it brilliantly as well. Probably the most watched and famous scene is of Hulk Hogan power slamming Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III. Other memorable memories include
· Shawn Michaels ‘skinning the cat’ (bringing himself into the ring over the ropes while hanging from the top rope by lifting his legs above him and rolling backwards over the top rope) while the British Bulldog celebrates thinking that he has won the Royal Rumble and then proceeding to throw the British Bulldog over the top rope and win it.
· Hulk Hogan walk down to the ring while all the wrestlers are down and proceed to leg drop the good guys much to the shock of wrestling fans all over the world and join the bad guys Kevin Nash (Diesel) & Scott Hall (Razor Ramon) in setting up the New World Order (NWO) thereby ending his decades as the quintessential American hero.
· Jeff Hardy hang haplessly from the ring holding the belts suspended 15 feet above the ring while the ladder he used to climb it was removed from under him and Edge then proceeding to spear him from another bigger ladder.
· Speaking of Edge how could I not mention both his instances of cashing in the Money In The Bank to win the title. battered and bloodied John Cena in the first case won the Elimination Chamber much to the dismay of the majority of the crowd. Edge then proceeded to devilishly cash in his MITB with spears to the champion causing the crowd to go crazy.
· Who can ever forget the crazy moment when Mankind (aka Cactus Jack aka Mick Foley) was thrown off the top of the Hell In the Cell by the merciless Undertaker onto the commentators table. Truly a ‘Holy Shit’ moment.
· Chris Jericho finally agreeing to face the unstoppable Bill Goldberg after being a thorn in his side for months and then having Gillberg (a parody of Goldberg) come out to hand held sparklers instead of the usual pyrotechnics.

The list is virtually endless and for all the naysayers out there I would only like to say this. It isn’t fake – the action in the ring is real and dangerous and the athletes put their bodies on the line every time they step into the ring. The chair shots are from real metal chairs and the tables used aren’t made of paper. Besides how do you fake barbed wire anyways? The characters are amazingly deep with traits we see in people around us and the story lines fascinating. What else do you want?

Three is a charm

To be honest I really must thank all those people who had come to the PVR mall that I had gone to on numerous occasions over the past one month to catch a movie. The thing is with Theme VI done with and having been banished from the cozy confines of my B-school to the capital of my country under the pretext of my summer project, I decided that my movie watching days must continue (albeit at a slower pace) though now I would be upgrading from the 15’ screen of my laptop to a proper multiplex theatre. I’ve reached an hour before the show, 2 hours before the show, much before the show; I’ve tried on weekends, weekdays but was never able to get a ticket with Spiderman 3, Mr. Bean and a couple of others getting the miss. A normal person would’ve soldiered on determined to watch a movie over there but not me as I settled down for a random TV movie on a lazy Sunday. And a smart choice it turned out to be.


It’s been over 10 years since I’ve watched Lucky Day (Steve Martin), Ned Nederlander (Martin Short) and Dusty Bottoms (Chevy Chase) do their unforgettable routine given below in the 3 Amigos and it proved to be the perfect Sunday movie.

Lucky Day: Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.
Ned Nederlander: Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there.
Dusty Bottoms: Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find...
Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: The Three Amigos!

The movie is hilarious with the casting being absolutely spot on. The dialogues are great and comic timing is superb as can be expected from the star cast. It is a simple kind comedy at times but one that will definitely will ensure that you’ve enjoyed it all the way to the end. Definitely a must watch especially considering the quality of comedies being churned out these days. Speaks volumes for a movie that was released 21 years ago. Sample this conversation from the movie

Jefe: We have many beautiful pinatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises!
El Guapo: How many pinatas?
Jefe: Many pinatas, many!
El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.


Asterix & Obelix : Mission Cleopatra that followed the 3 Amigos was a very pleasant surprise. I never expected that I would end up watching more than 15 minutes of the movie much less the whole thing but it was highly entertaining. The movie is really funny with a lot of modern references thrown in for good measure. It has captured the spirit of the comic which most movies based on comics haven’t been able to and I loved the scene where the pirates are ready to board a ship after seeing that it is not a Gaullish ship and their reaction when they see Asterix & Obelix happily waving at them from the ship is absolutely hilarious. There is just so much to enjoy in the movie – the character names, the subtle humour in so many one liners and the “I Feel Good” song in the movie to name but a few. Thing is you need to pay attention or you could end up missing another of the one line gems that are smattered all over the movie. Apparently the original French dialogues are even funnier with much more subtle humour captured in them which the shift to English has expectedly not been able to capture. But hey I’m not complaining, the English version is funny enough for me.


A few months back, if you’de have asked me who Guy Ritchie is, all I would’ve been able to tell you was that he is Madonna’s husband. But then that was before I watched the Guy Ritchie written & directed movie – Snatch which is an absolutely hilarious movie if you can follow the brit accent. With wonderfully scripted characters like Turkish (better known as the Transporter guy), Brick Top Polford, Cousin Avi, Boris ‘The Blade’, Bullet Tooth Tony, Franky Four Fingers, Mickey O’Neil (Brad Pitt in an brilliant role as a pikey whose accent is unbelievable) etc: Guy Ritchie has created a very engrossing movie that weaves together multiple storylines with absolutely hilarious one liners that will have you in splits. One is given below

Vinny & Sol are 2 small time crooks who want to get even with certain bad guys in the movie and therefore Sol goes out to get them guns, replicas of course since they are small time crooks.
Vinny: What the fuck do you mean, replicas?
Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And nobody is gonna argue. And I've got some extra loud blanks, just in case.
Vinny: In... Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?

Not seen a better made movie in a while and I’ve seen quite a bit of movies in my time in my B-school and earlier. An engaging movie that has all the ingredients I look for - top notch acting and more importantly very well written characters, huge servings of humour, very slick lighting and editing. What more can you ask for? If you do see any of these DVD out there the next time you’re out do not hesitate to pick them up especially Snatch. They certainly did make my Sunday.

At 5 in Theme 5

A true idea of what Theme 5 really means can be gauged from this true incident. My roomie pokes his head out from under his blanket , looks at the time , sees the lights on, me fully dressed and asks me where I'm going at 5 in the morning. Tell him that i've just walked in after completing our finance project and that i'm going to sleep ..... The seemingly never ending theme is finally seeing some light at the end of the gloomy tunnel . Have to hold on for less than a month but the ride for the next few weeks is going to be terribly terribly bumpy to say the least. Time to fasten my seatbelt then .

1 Down , Many More To Go

So 1 theme is up and I’m all set to move into the dreaded credit based themes from tomorrow . Which basically means no slip shod work , no last minute haste makes waste presentations ( not that we were doing that earlier ) and pulling up of socks and stockings for everyone . Am I excited ? well kind of , there’s nothing quite like staring into the unknown and going in head on unsure of when the next consoling yourself by philosophically saying “ Shit Happens” scenario is going to play out . The big bummer is that I’m supposed to submit a Theme Paper in a few days time which is supposed to be , and I quote , “a learner's reflective, analytical report“ which could , “helps you to introspect where your next destination (at the end of the next theme) is and you may even embark on a small planning exercise.” . Yeah right ….

So what exactly have I learnt or in this case unlearnt in theme 1 ? Firstly , send anyone to a good b-school , he (being a unisexual term) will be unable to speak ‘normal’ English in classes especially while interacting with the faculty . Of course a notable exception to this rule is when students are chit – chatting amongst themselves but that is another matter in itself . Something as simple as throwing a ring onto a stick can be translated in b-school talk as ‘Considering the task at hand and the main objective , I took the minimum possible risk by carefully evaluating all available options and decided to maximize my benefits by moving to the position that offered the least resistance to my goal’ . Well its not all serious , we have proudly inculcated this jargon into our normal day to day conversations and I really don’t think I can count the number of times I hear the words ‘bigger picture’ , ‘miscommunication’ , ‘thinking outside the box’ , ‘natural tendencies’ etc everyday . Its become such an integral part and parcel of our PGP 1 lingo that we just cant do without it , and how can I forget the quote unquote hand sign ( not to be confused with the normal hand sign also frequently used by b-school students ) .

Secondly , We is bigger than I . Most activities are based on team work and though I’m not the most qualified person to be talking about teams and all that , I feel that I’m really lucky to be in a pretty amazing group . 8 people , 1 Asso group . It isn’t the perfect everyone agrees with everyone type of group that naïve people wish they were a part of , but when we are on a roll our group can come up with some amazing stuff . Of course , where is the spice in life if everyone has the same opinion ? The word spice these days does bring terrible memories of the unemotional Ash in Mistress Of Spice , but our group is anything but devoid of emotion .

Three , once an engineer , always an engineer . Its easy to make out who is an engineer and who isn’t by watching their style of functioning . Engineers have this tendency to Reverse Engineer i.e clearly define what you want and then work your way backwards to where you are , thus obtaining a solution rather than the other way round . Another useful trait of engineers is their in-built Examination Gas ( E.G) mechanism ( for those not in the know , Indian engineering students have the magical ability to write about all topics under the sun , the moon and stars when they have a university exam question paper in front of them and they know shit . The magical part is that they pass ) This E.G mechanism can easily morph itself into the scourge of B-school professors everywhere – Global Gas ( G.G) which isnt very difficult to define but the best thing that can be said about it is that you will know it when you hear it . Global Gas is everywhere in a B-school , it could rear its ugly but humorous head when classes are going on , or when an over enthusiastic student is answering or when seniors are giving presentations to us or when we have to submit assignments . Usually followed by a loud sssssss sound from various sources voicing their disapproval in unison . The trend seems to be changing slightly as we have a new challenger to the well entrenched ssssss from our batch , it the Missile Squad who drop missiles followed by various types of explosions . So we have the Bouncy missile , the Disco missile , the Silent missile , the Nuclear Bomb missile , the Machine gun missile etc slowly but steadily rising up the popularity charts.

Four , its easy for an MBA student to turn an unfavourable situation into something really interesting . Faced with a really long session about something that wasn’t really informative or new , some students came up with a really interesting game that involved 2 people playing book cricket , 2 others betting on the game with points at stake and different cricket stadiums up for grabs once a better reached a certain number of points . Buying a stadium reduced your risk while betting after that and they were thinking of refining the model and selling it to unscrupulous elements who make up the cricket betting racket that has its tentacles all over the world . And here they are planning on teaching us ethics ….

To be honest , I didn’t really know how I was going to write a long Theme report , but this entry seems to have crossed the 1 ½ page mark already . With G.G by my side , 6 pages is but a mere baby step for me . Oh no , I can hear the Disco missile dropping already !

An unforgettable WC finals

11.40 P.M 9th July 2006 : Axel and I are discussing what time we should head to the college auditorium to see the battle of the 2 ( undeserving? ) giants – Italy and France in the World Cup finals . We’re the only 2 football fans left in the hostel , just about everyone else headed out more than half an hour ago . Call up Steam Engine to confirm that the match is starting at 12:30 , I’m told that the match has already begun and France are 1 goal up , shit ! Hurriedly wash the rest of clothes and grab my trademark NY cap and my jacket . Blasted Shakira …..

11.47 P.M : Not one to give up on tradition , Axel has already lost his umbrella in the 3 weeks he’s been here . As we begin our 10 minute walk , I mention that the worst thing that could happen now ( besides us missing another goal that is ) would be the fact that the rain gods could decide to shower their ‘blessings’ on us after a whole evening of no rains .
The crappy thing about the weather here is that when one leaves college , there’s no sign of any rains but within the 8 – 10 minute ritual of ours it usually pours , leaving us drenched despite the presence of umbrellas and just before we’re in the hostel the rain gods have decided that they have had enough fun and are ready to piss off someone else .
Anyways someone up there seems to have heard us as it starts drizzling at first , and the showers follow pretty soon after . With my jacket over our heads , we continue our steadfast march through the puddles that have suddenly filled up , unmindful of the stares of the few other souls huddled together in front of a tea shop as the rain keeps pouring down without remorse . Little do they know the prize at the end of our mad scramble . In true filmy style we see the outline of an auto heading towards us in the by now really heavy rain , its dim headlight barely illuminating the road in front of it . Fortunately it’s empty and we hop in , 2 minutes later as we reach college and walk to the auditorium the rain settles down into a drizzle and stops the moment we step into the block . Sometimes I wonder …. Oh yeah more stupid Shakira ramblings .

10th July 2006
12.00 A.M : We walk in with scores tied , the whole of my right side is soaked while Axel’s left side is in a similar condition with his 66 looking like its just taken a bath . End up sitting with the Italy fans ( who were fewer in number ) , something we didn’t initially know . Each half chance is greeted by loud Oohs from their fans with hands on their heads and all , while the other side grabs the chance to push a couple of insults through . Half time and our seniors have arranged for hot tea & coffee along with pakodas . 3 cheers for our welfare comm. ! The 1 huge and I mean huge problem with the DD telecast is that they get really lousy ‘experts’ ( smell the sarcasm ) to bore us to death during the breaks . I thought we MBA students were good at doling out Global Gas ™ , but these guys beat us hands down , no more can Tampmians claim the GG tag after that half time show . To add to the agony they refuse to show the goals that we’ve missed . All because of Shakira ….

9th july 2006
Around 10 P.M : No one is really sure about what time the match is actually starting . So far all the matches have been at 12.30 A.M , but the paper says that its at 11.30 P.M . Someone mentions the fact that there will be the whole closing ceremony thing happening with a performance by shakira . Who wants to see shakira shaking her hips when we’re worried about the World Cup ? Besides I’m not a shakira fan , so I decide to skip the ceremony and head there in time for the match . In hindsight I probably would’ve been there by 11.30 and seen the whole match had the name shakira not come up .

10th July2006
Who cares what time it is : France comes out with all guns blazing in the second half and I’m pretty sure that Zidane will leave the football world with the 2006 World Cup added to his list of accomplishments . Despite starting off as a neutral observer , I’m leaning towards France by now , not a good thing as I’m sitting behind guys who are swearing away to glory at the French players . However the signs aren’t good for the French , Viera gets substituted cause he cant continue & very surprisingly Henry gets substituted as the match moves towards the inevitable penalty shootout . Zidane with an open header that is kept out only by an amazing Buffon save , a little wider on either side and the French players would’ve felt the Cup in their hands . However the highlight of the night was saved for the end , as Zidane headbutted Matterazzi in a moment of stupidity and was sent off after the referee consulted the other officials . Italy don’t press for the win in extra time and its penalties time . The rest as they say is history , but the Zidane incident left a bad taste in my mouth .
A flurry of sms’s follow the match , opt to walk back to the hostel with Drummer-nan for company . Nothing like a good walk with lots to think about and a cool breeze . Of course Cristiano has major post match analysis to do at 3:45 A.M , which means I’m left woefully wondering the eternal hostelite question immortalized in Munnabhai MBBS – ‘ What is the procedure for changing my room ? ‘